By Whitney Vos, Livestock Manager
I love animals with all of my heart. I also choose to work in a profession that requires me to decide when they will die and bring them to slaughter myself. The most asked question I ever get about livestock farming is about this dichotomy.
“How do you do it?”
Last month I dropped off our first cows of the year to harvest. On the drive home, tears streaming down my face (as they do every single time), I always think a lot about how to answer that question and describe this work to people.
“How do you do it?”
When people say to me: “I could never do that. I'm too sensitive. I would love them too much. It would be too hard for me”, it hurts, because that’s how I feel too. It’s the hardest thing I do, but I believe in the impact livestock has on regenerating land and I believe in nourishing myself, the people I love and my community. I was a vegetarian for many years when I felt powerless to prevent animal and environmental cruelty in the meat industry. I love eating meat, but I take the responsibility of it really seriously.
When I think about feeding my family and my friends, I picture us all in a room together saying, “we need to eat, and someone needs to do this terrible part.” Someone needs to carry the emotional weight of looking these animals in the eye and making the decision to end their lives. I don't want to do it, but I'd rather it be me than know that someone I love is taking on that incredible heartbreak. On the flip side, If someone asked the room, “who loves animals, wants to care for them everyday, and spend all their time outdoors making our beautiful land better?” I might elbow a few loved ones right out of the way to be the first in line for that job.
I'm proud of the work that I do. And it's not easy for me. In some cases I do have to guard my heart and manage my level of attachment, but overall my style of farming is just to care a hell of a lot, even if it makes losing animals that much harder. Emotionally detaching, even though it is one way to do it, doesn’t help me give these animals really good lives.
So that's my answer to the question “how do you do it”. It’s hard. And I do it even though it’s hard because it’s important work that I think I should be doing, and work that I’m good at, precisely because I care so much. I take so much time and so much care in every aspect of my animals lives to make sure they feel safe, healthy, and happy and live good lives right ‘til the end. I’m with them from birth to death. And if you get stuck behind me driving slowly with my livestock trailer, it’s because I love my animals, not because I’m trying to ruin your day. If you know a farmer who loves their animals, you can support them emotionally by understanding the grief they experience, whether they have lost an animal through a chosen harvest or from accidents, predation, or illness. Grief is the price we pay for love.
